I don’t really mean to.

I don’t really mean for my blog to be on hiatus.  My life is rather busy, but as a person who doesn’t have children or a spouse, or any pets, I feel like I’m always rushing around doing a million things.  I’m a worrier.  I worry about everything.  Did I turn off the stove/oven/light/coffee maker/sink?  Did I check that I locked the door 3 times?  What time do I need to be to the airport, is 2 hours too much, is 1 enough?  What if I forget to pack something?  Did I grab my cell phone charger/laptop and charger/iPod/wallet with ID?  Anyway, I’ve started packing and I’ve made my list, I have yet to check it twice, but I’ll probably check it 10 times. 

Some days I want to throw in the towel.  This life of working, going to the gym, cultivating a relationship, and trying to keep my apartment clean all while getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night, with a 45 min commute each way to work, is wearing me down.  I should be used to all of it, and I basically am, but all it takes is one thing to be off (like the 90% chance of rain tomorrow meaning I can’t run at lunch, meaning tomorrow could be a gym only or off day, both which kind irk me because that means I either don’t work out and feel weird, or I get home really late).  I don’t have cable anymore and I’m glad, although I miss being able to have the noise in the morning while I’m getting ready for work and drinking my coffee, I don’t have time to watch TV.  I’m not even sure how behind on some of my favorites I am (I am caught up on Grey’s Anatomy, that’s it) and I don’t know when I’ll have time.  Plus, I’ve started watching Dexter and I’m only, SIX SEASONS BEHIND.  Needless to say, I just don’t have time.  I need to go to the library but the only days I can do that is tomorrow or Wednesday, and I guess the off day or gym day will dictate that. 

However, in the wake of all this, I am deeply saddened by what happened in Connecticut, and I realize that as busy as I am, I need to take time for the people in my life who are important.  I also realize that my irritation and frustration are nowhere near the grief and pain this tragedy has caused for this country.  As fit and healthy as I want to be, or as comfortable of a living I’d like to have, it doesn’t matter if the ones I care for and love are not with me or are in pain.  Pray for all those affected, even the family of the killer, because no matter how gruesome and heinous his crime was, his family may have seen a hurting soul and have been unable to help and now they are mourning the loss of him as well as the pain and shame of what he did.  Pray for peace, pray for love, pray for comfort, and most of all  pray for safety for everyone out there, no matter who they are or what they do. 

One week until Christmas! 

Intensity? Do I ever stop?

Does anyone else find Lana Del Rey’s music as creepily addicting as me?  It kind of creeps me out, but I can’t stop listening to it.  It definitely is not something that I would normally find myself listening to, but I’m definitely digging it.  So far my favorite song is “Diet Mountain Dew” but that could change.  I change my mind more than a little girl playing dress up. 

Anyway, that’s besides the point.  I’m an awful blogger, and I apologize immensely.  Although, I think the only person who might read this regularly is my sister, but that’s okay with me.  Eventually I be a better blogger and a better blog follower.  My funny story of the day, actually I have two.

1.  My allergies were awful Monday (yesterday or the day before yesterday depending on when I finish this post) and I contemplated taking Tuesday off, but I felt okay when I woke up.  My coworker and I strike up a conversation:

M:  I thought you weren’t coming in?
L (me):  Well, I forgot to ask for it and felt well enough to not need to call out, I took two Benadryl last night because apparently you can and that’s why it wasn’t working.
M:  Oh, well, yeah, but your eyes look really bad. 
A (second coworker):  Yeah, it is all in your eyes, they’re awful looking.

What?!  They look fine, they don’t hurt or itch like the previous day and scouts honor (I’ve never been a scout, BUT I love Scout Finch) I haven’t been rubbing or scratching them today.  Stupid allergies. 

B.  I’m pretty hardcore when I’m at the gym (or at least I like to think that).  Although I could probably make some friends if I was friendlier, I’m not big on small talk (at the gym or anywhere else for that matter).  Anyway, I’m trying this 30-20-10 interval thing (30 mod/slow; 20 mod/fast; 10 fast) and its intense.  So at the end of my 20 mins I jump off and so does the guy a few ellipticals down.  He has talked to me once before asking me if he can work in on a machine because I’m “intense” he was afraid to ask.  Anyway, our  convo goes like this:

G:  Do you ever slow down?
L:  Sometimes, yeah.
G:  I mean you’re always going and look like you’re in the zone.
L:  Well, yeah, I mean limited time so you know… (I start walking away)
G: Yeah.

I’m really awkward, if you hadn’t noticed.  Anyway, I like things fast, and over with.  I’m not very patient and I don’t have time to waste.  I don’t get home until 7:30 or 8 and I need to make dinner and get ready for my day and I sometimes STILL don’t get into bed until 11.  Plus tomorrow involves two holiday parties and no exercise will be had, so I have to be on the ball today.  I’ll probably be sore and I finally did some ab work, so abs of steel, let’s start making an appearance, thanks.

Confessions… – a date which will live in in famy

It’s been awhile since I’ve linked up, but here we go.

It’s also December 7, Pearl Harbor Day, remember your history lessons, please.

confessions

  • I confess that sometimes I tell myself I like or dislike something just because I want to be different.
  • I confess that I’m not a fan of my job and hope that I’ll be able to find something else and move on soon.
  • I confess that I claim to like healthy eating (okay, I do like healthy eating) BUT 99% of the time I want to eat junk.
  • I confess that giving up soda (Diet Coke) was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, its been almost 2 years and I still crave that sucker like its going out of style.  I swear its worse than heroin.
  • I confess that I am definitely don’t do my laundry until I run out of something, so please tell me if I start to smell.
  • I confess that I love Christmas time and can’t wait for all the real Christmas festivities to begin, they start next week.
  • I confess that I really want to hold hands and walk around looking at Christmas light drinking a salted caramel hot chocolate, but it never gets cold enough here for that to sound really fun.
  • I confess that I only get the daily recommended amount of sleep 2 – 3 nights a week, no wonder I’m addicted to caffeine.
  • I confess that I have other confessions that I just don’t know if I can share on the blog even though it would probably make me feel better.

Go link up.  Everyone needs to confess a little bit.

Since I’m a Grown Up…

This is a list of things that I’ve learned about myself since I’ve become a grown up.  Or the changes about me that my mom would deny could be true.

1.  I’ve become a neat freak and have started to dislike clutter.  If you knew me as a child and a teen, and even when I first lived on my own, you would know that this is a crazy phenomenon.   At this current moment I can see that the dish rag in the kitchen has fallen off it’s hook and I kind of want to stop typing (which I originally typed as “styping” new word blogger style) and go fix it.  I won’t, but I kind of want to.

2.  I don’t like watching TV (when I moved I canceled my cable TV and only have a TV in my living room no more bedroom TV) but crave background noise, cue: Pandora all the time – currently: Country Christmas, of course.

3.  I don’t actually suck at cooking, I just don’t really enjoy it that much.  And those are two COMPLETELY different things.  Since I don’t enjoy it, I don’t take the time to get good at it, and therefore I find that I’m lacking in that area.  However, I love to eggs and I have gotten pretty phenomenal at making any kind of egg.  (I’m experimenting with sweet potatoes at the moment, so we will see how it goes, crossing my fingers).

4.  I thought I wanted an office desk job, but that is not correct.  I do not enjoy it.  I’d rather do ANYTHING else.  So, since my mom informed me I have an unused scholarship that I need to take advantage of before I turn 30, I may just be getting my teaching credential…

5.  This isn’t really on being a grown up, this is me moving out of my comfort zone, but I am actively trying to be more affectionate.  I will be doling out hugs, for at least 6 seconds, because I read somewhere that’s what you need to do?  Anyway, I’m working on it, give me some time.

6.  Learning to accept myself as I am, my flaws, quirks, and all.  It takes time, and I think, although I could be wrong (but I’m never wrong, except that one time last week when I was wrong, but I’m still willing to bet I could be considered correct), with being female it is that much more difficult.  I’m almost there, and that’s a good thing.

7.  “Those who mind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind.” – Bernard Baruch.  So true, and it relates to #6.

8.  Just be nice.  Smile.  Be happy.  Laugh.  Live.  Love.  Enjoy the small things.  Sit outside.  Run.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

And it is Blog Hop Time

weekendupdate2

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here, take a look:

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I might have very few decorations and a tiny tree, but it is clearly festive.  I’ve been listening to Christmas music since I got back from Thanksgiving.  Yes, I suck at painting my nails, but since I type all day at work I don’t really care for them to be perfect, they’ll chip tomorrow, I’m sure.

Christmas is my favorite holiday.  I love the music and the lights and the decorations.  I bought peppermint cupcake soap, peppermint ice cream, and have yet to light my evergreen candle.  I’m watching “Elf” as I type this up and can’t wait for Christmas Eve.

Oh and weekend update:

I went bridesmaids dress shopping for my sister’s wedding.  She’s picked one out, and now we wait.  I don’t have photos, because I didn’t take one of myself and I want to wait until her special day.  Have a great week.

Mystery

As always, I fail at blogging.  I do, however, have some stories for you this time around.  Or a story, I suppose. 

I take public transportation.  It’s cheap, convenient, and less gas money spent in my car.  I can read the whole way to work and the whole way home, I’ve gotten pretty used to and comfortable with it.  Plus, I do sometimes fall asleep, so I get a nap in.  There are all types of different people who use the system.  You never know who will get on, but there are also the regulars.  So, on my way home I encountered the usuals and some newbies, it happens.  However, today was a completely different experience. 

I was minding my own business playing on my phone and listening to my iPod (I left my book at work).  I look up, maybe 5 or 6 stops after I got on, after this guy who could have been autistic or something got off.  He didn’t bother anyone, just wanted to talk about nothing to whoever would listen.  I then see blood on the floor and on one of the hand rails.  No problem, I’m sitting down and have no interest in standing.  I look around to see if I can find anyone who is injured or might be bleeding.  Nothing.  I continue on my way.  Then, I hear this crazy guy talking about the blood.  Now, let me tell you, I have seen my fair share of crazies.  I’ve been forced/cornered into a hug by a homeless man at the station (I hated hugs prior to this and this moment of my life did not help).  A woman has taught me how to steal things with the sensors on them as she proceeded to pick up her baby’s pacifier from the dirty floor, put it in her mouth to “clean” it and then put it back in the kid’s mouth.  This guy was quite a winner, but maybe not quite as crazy as the woman I saw urinate and vomit on the steps. 

He kept talking about the US District Court being corrupt.  Okay, it happens, some people hate the court system, and in some instances they might be right.  I doubt he was, but whatever, he wasn’t really bothering anyone, just kind of annoying.  Then he started saying how blacks were being terrorized.  Okay, he was black and although I’m not sure what he meant, he can have his opinion.  Then he would point out the blood and was asking people for a knife.  I was getting nervous, but I get off at a location with other people and I figured as long as they stayed on, I would be okay.  Then, he gets really crazy.  He starts talking about the MTS police and their “laser/Taser/fasers” that murder you while they are talking to you because it is invisible.  He keeps repeating this.  And explaining that they also have sex with child prostitutes while in front of the cameras and never get caught.  An imagination this one had.  He then talks about how it smells like nicotine (it has a smell? or did he mean cigarettes) and alcohol and all that stuff.  Weird. 

I finally got off, so there’s the bloody guy and the crazy.  I was telling my sister how gross it was that people weren’t paying attention to the blood and were touching it.  I went straight to the gym, washed my hands as I always do when I get off the trolley and started my workout.  I dropped my gym towel onto my shoes and told my sister, what if I stepped in blood?  Turns out the mystery bleeder did bleed on my shoe.  By process of elimination, and then recalling the used band aid on the ground, the mystery bleeder was the autistic guy sitting behind me. I  then proceeded to freak out that what if it was in my hair, or I had a cut and this guy had HIV/AIDS or who knows what else. 

I tried not to let it interfere with my workout, but I could not wait to get home to shower.  A shower never felt so good.  I think I’m in the clear with the blood, but it still might be one of the most disgusting things I’ve experienced.