I don’t really mean to.

I don’t really mean for my blog to be on hiatus.  My life is rather busy, but as a person who doesn’t have children or a spouse, or any pets, I feel like I’m always rushing around doing a million things.  I’m a worrier.  I worry about everything.  Did I turn off the stove/oven/light/coffee maker/sink?  Did I check that I locked the door 3 times?  What time do I need to be to the airport, is 2 hours too much, is 1 enough?  What if I forget to pack something?  Did I grab my cell phone charger/laptop and charger/iPod/wallet with ID?  Anyway, I’ve started packing and I’ve made my list, I have yet to check it twice, but I’ll probably check it 10 times. 

Some days I want to throw in the towel.  This life of working, going to the gym, cultivating a relationship, and trying to keep my apartment clean all while getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night, with a 45 min commute each way to work, is wearing me down.  I should be used to all of it, and I basically am, but all it takes is one thing to be off (like the 90% chance of rain tomorrow meaning I can’t run at lunch, meaning tomorrow could be a gym only or off day, both which kind irk me because that means I either don’t work out and feel weird, or I get home really late).  I don’t have cable anymore and I’m glad, although I miss being able to have the noise in the morning while I’m getting ready for work and drinking my coffee, I don’t have time to watch TV.  I’m not even sure how behind on some of my favorites I am (I am caught up on Grey’s Anatomy, that’s it) and I don’t know when I’ll have time.  Plus, I’ve started watching Dexter and I’m only, SIX SEASONS BEHIND.  Needless to say, I just don’t have time.  I need to go to the library but the only days I can do that is tomorrow or Wednesday, and I guess the off day or gym day will dictate that. 

However, in the wake of all this, I am deeply saddened by what happened in Connecticut, and I realize that as busy as I am, I need to take time for the people in my life who are important.  I also realize that my irritation and frustration are nowhere near the grief and pain this tragedy has caused for this country.  As fit and healthy as I want to be, or as comfortable of a living I’d like to have, it doesn’t matter if the ones I care for and love are not with me or are in pain.  Pray for all those affected, even the family of the killer, because no matter how gruesome and heinous his crime was, his family may have seen a hurting soul and have been unable to help and now they are mourning the loss of him as well as the pain and shame of what he did.  Pray for peace, pray for love, pray for comfort, and most of all  pray for safety for everyone out there, no matter who they are or what they do. 

One week until Christmas! 


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