I’m glad you’ve stopped by. Are you in for a real treat. This is a list of things that I completely, totally find useless and maybe the biggest waste of time in my life. Let’s get at it, shall we?
Taking a shower. Like, I get it, we all smell. Some of us worse than others. I sweat, like nobody’s business. Especially while I’m working out. But let me tell you something. I don’t shower immediately after. I have a few reasons. First, if I’m running on my lunch break it is probably outside and I don’t have a shower at work. So, I kinda let myself dry while I stretch, eat, and get back to work. Then, on my next bathroom break (because I drink 9,000,350,403 gallons of water a day) I MAYBE change back into my work clothes. By then, its so late in the day, who cares. Honestly, my hair looks better with a little bit of sweat and salt in it. Who needs sea salt spray? Not I. I wash my hair every 2 days, 3 if that day falls on a Friday and I stretch it until Saturday, because I’m a rebel like that. I’m lazy. Plus, once I’m dry and don’t smell, what does it matter? Ask my office mate, maybe she has a differing opinion.
Cooking and eating. I’m almost always hungry and can eat like nobody’s business but this whole cooking thing? Seriously, its for the birds. I’ve been trying to meal prep and it sucks. Why you ask? I don’t have a microwave, so everything I reheat takes quite some time. And breakfast? I’m like ravenous cave man. So, eggs and oats and you always have to cook them. I have exactly 1 hour to get ready in the morning, and although cooking eggs and oats doesn’t take that long, I feel like if I didn’t have to eat or cook I’d be set.
Calories. Counting them. Yes, in my head from my years of slightly disordered dieting and eating I can guesstimate the amount of calories in any given food faster than anybody you know, but really think about it. 100 calories of candy vs. 100 calories of fruit. Clearly you get more fruit AND all it health benefits. Candy you get nada. Just eat as clean as you can 70 to 90% of the time and know that if you eat 3 twix bars in one sitting that your life and day are not over. Move on. Eat your dinner and get past it.
The elliptical. Seriously? I could take a nap on it. Its such an awkward machine. I get it, its totally easier on your joints, so I suppose if you’re older and/or have limited mobility it might be a good choice. But, you’re probably better off getting on a bike or swimming instead. Not to mention, when my IT Band was flaring up this hurt my knee almost as much as running sometimes. So much for low impact.
Socks. Pants. Shoes. Hippie in a past life? Maybe. Either way I can tell you I prefer not to have any of those. I always take my shoes off at work. And I’m rarely wearing socks. Oh add coats/jacket to this list. I’d rather wear 3 sweatshirts.
Having to have a job. Perhaps we could all be born with a random amount of money and then you have just that to live off of for the rest of your adult life. Think about how that could turn out for people? I think it would be kinda awesome. Or maybe that’ just me. Help me, I’m poor.
I think this is probably sufficient. Maybe you feel how I do, maybe you don’t. I’m just trying to keep it real.