And Just Like That…

My brain will probably be exploding onto this blog.  Brace yourselves, it could be a bumpy ride. 

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I’m definitely starting to like my shorter hair.  Particularly how it looked on Saturday.  Good thing it only got to go shopping with me.  Better luck on a day I have something to do.  Anyway, so we all take so many selfies I think we’ve become immune to what we actually look like.  I’m not the most confident girl in the world although I do find myself to a pretty and attractive lady.  For as crummy of a day I was having that day, I felt really pretty.  My boyfriend thinks I’m pretty.  And really, that’s al that matter.  My eyes go from green to grey to blue with a brown/hazel ring in the middle.  I think we need to own our appearance.  I have that funky scar on my cheek (I swear it from an acne mark that I got a sunburn on!) and I have another on the other side, where I had stitches.  And its what makes me, me.  I don’t look 27, which I awesome, and I’m trying to learn to be content with myself.  I’m not being cocky or arrogant; I’m working on my confidence. 

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This Old Navy was closing and I got each of these for $1.49.  What a steal.  That brightened my day.  And some jeans for like $4.  I’m a bargain hunter to the core. 

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I bought these pillows and curtains to tie in my whole living room together.  The tray on my table still needs some stuff, but its all a work in progress.  My apartment is really dark.  I know that window gives the perception that there’s a lot of light BUT I also have 2 light on in the photo.  My coworkers joke that I grow mushrooms in my apartment.  It would probably be an ideal place. 

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My sister and her husband moved into my parents’ house (they have 2 dogs) and my sister and her husband have 1.  So that blue bed is their dog’s bed.  Apparently Ricky and Lucie took it over.  Its really not made for 2 dogs.  I’m curious as to which dog was in there first and which one moved on in on the other.  Lucie is the light one; Ricky I the dark one.  My sister says that the 3 dogs rotate sleeping in it. 

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I found this on Pinterest, but didn’t pin it, so I cant link it BUT I thought it was funny.  I laughed very loudly as I read it.  Makes total sense to me. 

Also, I’ve been trying to clean up my eating and really get back in gear.  So far it is feeling good.  I’ve had a few moments, ok, an entire weekend where I wanted to dive face first into a quart of ice cream topped off with candy, but I didn’t and I’m feeling good.  I don’t see any real changes yet (its only been a  week) but I do feel less gross.  That’s really all I can say.  I’ve been tracking my food again just to see where everything falls and my sugar intake has been low, which is what I’m going for.  Giving up candy and ice cream for Lent has really helped.  I’m not the type to buy cookies, so I basically gave up sweets.  I’m hoping to continue this streak and really get it going.  I want a flatter/better looking middle this time around.  My training is balls to the wall and my eating is really like 90% clean, so this could totally happen.  I’m not being obsessive, if I really want something that’s more of a treat, I’m gonna have it and move on.  But, I don’t need dessert or ice cream everyday and I don’t need bowl after bowl of cereal. 

I think that’s a good amount of rambling for the day.  I hope you have an awesome hump day. 

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Let’s Confess

Linking up with Leslie

I confess that…

– I listen to music like this on the regular, yet if you knew me you’d think I’m the tamest, calmest white girl you know. 

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– I really miss a certain guy who has been visiting his family.  I haven’t really talked to him since Tuesday and won’t until much later and I’m not a fan.  I am bored and lonely.  Probably why I am able to actually blog. 

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– My mom’s friend (who is in her late 50s) was giving away clothes, and said I could have some things.  Yes I picked this.  Yes, it is a size Large.  A&F, girls should hate you. 

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– I cooked my shrimp for my lunch in the same pan as my eggs for dinner and didn’t wash/rinse it.  Lazy over here. 

– I cut off the sleeves of my shirt that was too big to try and make a cool tank.  And, I pretty much just look like a tool. 

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– I gave up candy and ice cream for Lent.  So, I just ate a lot of berries for dessert.  At least it was post work out. 

– I haven’t ran all week and probably won’t and I’m about 90% ok with that.  My mind and body needed a break. 

Have a great weekend.  Today is the day the guy mentioned above finally comes home, and I’m pretty excited. 

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Willpower

I used to have amazing willpower.  I used to pretend that I didn’t like potato chips or cake (well, I do like flavored potato chips, plain I could pass on and with cake I’m pretty good at forgoing cheap buttercream frosting on white/chocolate boxed/store bought cake.)  I gave up Diet Coke two years ago, well all soda in general except on airplanes (and then its only Ginger Ale or Dr. Pepper because this girl’s fear of flying trumps the anti-soda) and when it is in a mixed alcoholic drink that I can’t avoid.  However, I can normally avoid them.  My poison of choice is not usually a fancy, fruity mixed drink.  Anyway, last May I gave up candy for the whole month.  I survived but I completely started back up and went at it ten fold.  I’ve talked about this before, probably more than anyone wants to hear.  I work my tail off in the gym.  I lift heavy and hard and although it is apparent that I do this, I’m still not a fan of where my eating habits have landed me.  I would say that I had probably been at a 60/40 clean eating lifestyle.  That’s not really good enough.  I feel as if I work too hard in the gym to not see the gains due to my eating habits.  So, I’ve had the best intentions to fix that.  But then I got sick, then it was my birthday and the super bowl and Valentine’s Day and I went on a trip with my parents (who only eat like random food, hello Doritos, avocado, and red vines for dinner???) and then my mom came to visit and now I’m freaking sick again.  Oh and then yesterday (I didn’t go to work to try and sleep off said sickness) my wonderfully clean lunch (chicken, green beans, brown rice) and snacks (cut up veggies and fruit; yogurt) were thrown away in the fridge cleaning day.  That I didn’t know about.  Seriously?  This girl can’t catch a break.  Anyway, rant over. 

I don’t like to cook, I’m pretty good at it, but I hate it.  The preparation, the dishes, trying to decide what goes together, portions, if it will taste good as leftovers, etc.  That’s why this eating clean thing drives me crazy.  I don’t have a microwave at home so creating lots of things once a week isn’t really a good plan for me.  For my lunches, sure, but not for dinner.  And then I end up throwing crap together and eating weird stuff (like tonight’ dinner, eggs + cabbage + spinach + salsa = no good) or I eat cereal.  That is something I need to stop buying.  And I really like this boy (okay, I love this man) who eats cereal, yogurt, pb & j, and nachos on the daily and is fit and thin no question asked.  Granted, yes, he is a man and life handed them testosterone, but sometimes I’d rather just eat what he’s eating. 

The whole point of this? I’m practicing my willpower by giving up candy and ice cream for Lent.  Yep, it will be tough but I’m going to make my cheat/treat whatever you want to call them meals not sweets.  I gotta lay off the sugar.  I just want to feel less like a balloon and more like the attractive girl that I am.  Not to get all gross on you, but I definitely look way better with clothes on than I do off.  I kinda want to change that.  I took some pics in a bathing suit and I’m not happy.  So, we will see how it all goes.  I have no reason for today to not be a good, totally clean eating day.

I’m rambling, but sometimes you just have to share.  Have a great Thursday!